Everything is bright, filled with pleasure, friends that love. These times are those when I had not a care. But I had to give up the “Joy Cross” so that I could come close to my Savior. The next cross He wanted me to bear was the Cross of Sorrow.

No friends, no pleasure, the soul is exceedingly sorrowful, a path that is rough, looking back at the past, regretting. I know that I am to forget the things that are behind, for they are washed clean by the blood of the Lamb and I am free. Then there appeared the “Cross of Works”.

I saw many sick, so many discouraged, so many that had fallen by the way. So I went to work. I wanted to help everyone in their sorrow, grief and pain. My heart was light, my feet, strong to carry me. No longer did I look behind, nor mourn for joys of the past, there were no more regrets. There was a song in my heart and a song upon my lips. Dark was the road, feeling its roughness, my soul was anxious within me, for I could not comfort, nor feed every soul, hungers I could not satisfy, burdens too heavy to lift. I could only cry and hold my outstretched hands to Him saying, “O, my Father, help these, for I cannot. O, my Father, help me!” He said to me, “Do not be weary in well doing, for you are coming toward Me, drawing nearer to My Heart.” Then, He pointed to the “Cross of Sacrifice”!

To sacrifice what? He would not take anything from me. My own free will. I must give myself. All that I am. Can I give it up? Can I choose His will over mine? There are things I can do without, but can I do without Him. Giving myself to Him so completely is His dearest wish. Do I want His dearest wish to come true? The good fight of faith was won and I said, “My Father, I give you all.” He accepted my sacrifice and brought me nearer to Him to be more like Him. What now, Lord?

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, but let Him do what He wills, for I am His. Then I saw one whose face was lined, furrowed with deep strokes, but I also saw peace that comes from deep tribulation, one who had forgotten how to weep. He held one hand out to me, the other He pointed to the ground. There lay a cross, which I had seen in His hand upon the mount. The Voice said, “This is the only way that you can approach Me, to be near me and to be most like Me. This is your cross. Lie down upon it, no shrinking, no fear. You are not alone, I too have been there.

"I experienced all the depths of pain and at the last, I was forsaken by the Father, but you will not suffer that last worst suffering. You will never know it, for I will never leave you, nor forsake you." I laid down on the cross, and I am rested upon it every day. “The Angel of Suffering” is upon my left hand and upon my right hand, one who comes with Him, “The Angel of his Presence”; and then there was another, “The Angel of Peace”. These three live always with me.

My vision is Reality, no stern Judge, nor a merciful God, but my loving Father, who bends over me. The way has brought me almost to His feet. Only a narrow valley divides us, “The Valley of the Shadow”, and the angel who shall lead me through it is the “Angel of Death”. Now I wait for his coming with a calm, peaceful heart, not like those who dread his coming. I shall see Christ's Face, the Face of the Son of God - the One who walked beside me in the furnace of affliction so that I passed through without even the smell of smoke on my garments.

Deep waters I go through leaning on the everlasting Arms. I hear a Voice that welcomes me from the other side. It is His. Then I shall see Him at the Right Hand of God, having upon His Head many crowns and on His vesture a name written, “King of Kings and Lord of Lords” before whose face heaven and earth shall flee away.

All nations stand before Him, out of great tribulation they come, enduring to the end and they shall inherit all things. They shall cry with a loud voice saying, “Blessings and honor and glory and power be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne and unto the Lamb forever and ever." The One that sits on the throne, the Man of Sorrows, I shall know. In His Hand, He holds a cross calling the sons of men, “Come! Come! Who will take up his cross and follow Me, that he may be like unto Me and that I may set him upon My Right hand and share with him things glorious and beautiful beyond the dreams of earth and the imagining of men.”

Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me,
let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.