Peggy's Story

Matthew 9:20-22 And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of
blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.
But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said,
Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.
And the woman was made whole from that hour.

I praise the Lord DAILY for what he has done for me. He sure has been good to me...

I want to try and help any woman I can. This gets kind of explicit with anatomy though...I will be as polite as possible.

I was sick for many years, but didn't know what was wrong. I "became a woman" at age eleven, but didn't have regular cycles. My mother told me that my body just had to get used to what it was supposed to do, and not to worry about it, but every time it would happen, I would be in so much pain!

My Mom then took me to a pediatrician who said the same thing as she did, and advised me to take the regular over the counter pain relief for my problems. I was miserable. I was so inconsistent that I always had to be prepared, but most of the time I would have to call Mom to come pick me up from school because of accidents.

My Mom got sick when I was thirteen. She found out she had terminal bone and lung cancer, so for the next year, I just put up with my problems. It wasn't like it happened all that often anyhow. A lady from my church took me to a gynecologist at my mother's request (she was bedridden by this time). The doctor said that I was too overweight, and that all my problems stemmed from an eating disorder. I was fifteen pound above the weight chart's recommendation.

As I studied later, a weight problem -- being ether too thin or too heavy may cause menstrual problems, but fifteen pounds is far from the limit. This doctor knew my problem, but could do nothing about it, for legal and ethical reasons. He had to tell me something however and this was his scape goat. (Of course I learned this much later. ) He suggested putting me on birth-control pills to regulate my cycle. My parents refused. I was still miserable.

When I was two months from fourteen, my Mom went on to Heaven. It took me back quite a bit and my relationship with the Lord suffered tremendously. I rebelled against all authority. Once again I found myself with so much pain that I missed school. My attendance dipped dramatically in my eighth year of school because of my sickness. My dad was at his wits' end with me. He never took an active role in my rearing, so when my Mom passed on, he remarried to "get me a new mother." As a teenager I didn't appreciate this at all. I could not talk to my stepmother about my problems, and she in turn thought I was faking.

My dad asked the same lady who took me to the doctor before to take me once again. This time I was told that I may have a condition called Stein-Leventhal disease, which is basically an overactive ovary producing too many eggs, thus causing cysts, and pain with ovulation and menstruation. My dad agreed to the birth-control pills this time, since the doctor said that was the only thing that may help me.

Time went on, and I found that I had major side effects from the birth-control pills. I gained thirty pounds in four months, after losing the same amount in one year after my Mom died. I did have regular cycles, but the pain was still there. I had my prescription changed many times, but with no help. I went off the pills thinking I could do without the cycles if I was still going to have the pain and weight-gain. I was almost sixteen by this time.

Let me stress here that I was not sexually active. By the grace of God, I made some mistakes and sinned my share, but I never went that far. My dad was petrified, but by this time, his control over me had gotten so lax, he just allowed the ladies at the church to care for me. He was on evening shift at work, so I only saw him on Saturdays and Sundays, and my stepmother refused to do anything with me.

I always went to church and youth group and was very active, but my heart wasn't right. Most people would say here that it was my rebellion and sin that caused all my health problems. Although I believe it CAN be a chastisement to have health problems because of sin and unrepentant, I beg to differ in this case. I do think that I could have been a lot better if I had trusted the Lord and asked him for help, but I had a disease, and that doesn't necessarily come from sin. If I had only listened to the Lord's wooing voice, I may have gotten some relief from the many nights I had doubled over and crying, but I know as much as I know that I am saved, that I had to go through this sickness to shape my life, and the other events that ultimately lead up to this testimony.

When I was sixteen and a half, the same lady who had been my help all along became my mother-in-law-to be. She took me back to the doctor who told me that the birth-control pills were the only thing that was going to help my problem. He said that he thought I did have the Stein-Leventhal disease, and that birth-control pills was all he could do for me because of my age. The only other alternative was a hysterectomy, and since I was just about to be married in a couple years, that was not an option at all. He said also that some of my problems might have been depression from my family life, and since there was a hot new drug out there called Prozac, he wanted me to try it.

My dad was furious, but he filled the prescription and I went on the Prozac. I honestly don't remember any specific change in my life as far as getting rid of the depression goes, but I noticed more side effects from the new pills. I could not go to school and stay awake. Or I was too hyper and flighty. Manic-depressive if you will. I could not focus on details. Everything was a blur. I could not get off the bus and walk the fifty yards to my house, and up the stairs without stopping twice. I was so tired and my legs hurt tremendously. The hair on my arms began to turn black and thicken. My voice became deeper. I started getting hair on my belly and breasts-and a milky discharge from them. This really scared me, so I went back. He said that those were all symptoms of the Stein-Levanthal disease and there was nothing he could do but change my pills again.

By the time I was married, I had been on birth control pills for five years off and on, with no visible sign of help. At times I think they kept me regular enough to allow my body not to get so bad that I couldn't have children, and other times, I think they stunted my growth and definitely affected my outlook on life. They caused most of the depression I was experiencing with the overdoses of estrogen they released into my bloodstream. They, along with the Prozac caused me to gain fifty pounds in one year.

At this point, my weight may have begun to be a problem as far as my cycle went, but there was nothing I could do about it by this time, because it was mostly fatty deposits from the estrogen. To say the least, I was a very voluptuous, 170 pound, eighteen year old woman when I walked the aisle.

I married my best friend. He was my world. We had plans for three dozen children, a farm, a golden retriever, horses and fame. Boy did we have things messed up! He was going to be a rock star six months before we married. (Yes, he was saved.) Then he began to dream of the National Muzzle Loading Association. He was a knife maker. And a good one too, if I may say so, and we planned to go to Rendezvous and make some money.

He immediately told me that the birth control pills and the Prozac had to go. So I quit them. Cold turkey. Let me caution you ladies, don't ever get on psychiatric drugs to start with, but if you do, don't stop them cold. They will mess you up! I had delusions. I had nightmares and flashbacks. I had night sweats and stomach problems. I was paranoid that my husband didn't love me and that everyone was just "out to get me." It took about three months for that and the birth control to get out of my system. ( Let me give a positive note here. When I stopped the Prozac, I began to notice things in detail again. )

Then, I got pregnant with our first child and I was very sick. That was a long forty weeks! After a labor of 31 and a half hours, my baby girl, Leah, was born. The labor part will come in later when I describe my sickness in more depth. It is significant.

I never thought about herbal medicine before having my first baby. It wasn't talked about a whole lot before then, but after I had her, and still had pain, I began to think about it! I definitely couldn't use the pill because I was nursing. It took me eight weeks to stop bleeding after having her, even though I was nursing. ( This is also significant to my disease) So I drank Chamomile tea. I used hot and cold compresses. (If you have my problem or think you do- DON'T do that! The pain is unbearable.) I used black cohosh- be very careful with that, and never use it while nursing. I used licorice.

I tried drinking two gallons of water daily.. All that got me was water retention. I walked three miles a day, because I was told that would help with the cycles (and would help me lose weight) and would then come in and cry for hours because of the pain and fatigue. I cut all salt from my diet and counted fat grams. I reduced the amount of red meat in my diet and became anemic. I only took aspirin for pain relief, because it is a vasodilator and I thought I was just having trouble "getting started." I bled very heavily.

I went to many doctors and different women's health clinics here in W[est] V[irginia] looking for some help. Most of the doctors wanted me to go back on the Prozac or some other birth control pill.

When my daughter was 18 months old, I found out I was expecting my second child. My pregnancy tests didn't show positive twice when I thought I was pregnant, but I didn't think much of it since I was never regular anyway. I was 18 weeks pregnant before I knew. It was a very short pregnancy after that! I gained 35 pounds after that, but it was mostly swelling. I got huge blood boils on my face, like with my first baby, and was ashamed to even go outside.

I almost had the baby without going to the hospital this time. ( I was going to a birthing center before) After 18 hours of hard labor and lots of drugs, 9 pound 9 ounce Sarah was born. I immediately began having stomach problems. I could eat nothing except plain boiled rice. I could drink nothing at all hardly. I could keep water down, but it made my stomach sick. Eventually, I could eat peppermint candy, and plain, skinless, un-spiced baked chicken breast.

This went on for almost a month. I had gallbladder tests done with a negative result. This was very puzzling to me at the time, but I have since learned that when ovaries are smashed, ( like testicles) it produces a nauseous effect. This is what had happened to me during labor because Sarah was so big and my organs were diseased anyway. The cysts, though extremely less since I had been pregnant, had burst and spread infection through my body. I knew I had some pain in my lower abdomen, but I had always had a nagging dull pain there and didn't pay much attention.

I soon began having migraine headaches after some problems with the baby. She stopped breathing in the middle of the night from a cold. I watched her continually. Paranoid that she would die. I tried very hard to turn it over to the Lord and "give" him the baby. My mental state was not one to be reckoned with at that time, but I was sincere, and felt all alone because God didn't take my fear away.

My husband and I had drifted further apart in some ways, but in others we had become a lot closer. We were putting our old dreams behind and looking toward really serving the Lord, though the dream for the knife business hadn't completely vanished. We weren't happy, and we knew it was because we were out of God's will. We moved shortly after that to a trailer behind my in-laws'.

My headaches had still not gone away. I began to have a constant headache that lasted for one month with no relief. I did what I could for my children, but I am very ashamed to say that my older daughter, who was only three, cared for my baby more than I did. No one from my church would help, and my mother-in-law just told me that it was "life" and everyone had things to overcome.

I lay on the couch most of the day with cold and hot compresses on my head. I didn't know I was actually making the pain worse by changing temperatures so much. I heard that caffeine in high doses took some migraines away so I drank thick black coffee until it ran out my ears. The pounding got worse and made me jittery. I looked in book after book for an herbal remedy. I had gotten a computer by then, and when I could stand to look at the screen I looked up websites.

My husband bought me an AMA Encyclopedia which helped the most by explaining just what a migraine was and giving some suggestions for management. I later learned to manage them more by putting my feet in ice water and putting the hottest cloths I could find on the top of my head and my forehead. This brought some relief, but I eventually ended up back in the doctor's office again.

I began reading books about women's health problems, and herbal medicine more then and learned that the symptoms that I had, though common to many illnesses didn't match any of them! Not even the Stein-Leventhal. I began to get pretty scared because now I knew I was really sick, but didn't have a name to put to my sickness. Believe it or not, the headaches took precedence over the menstrual problems for a while.

I had migraines for almost one year every day. One terrible pain seems to do that when you have had a condition all your life. I began reading that migraines could be a symptom when someone had female problems, so I went to my family doctor. He sent me to an endocrinologist, with an assumption that I may have a pituitary tumor. I had all the symptoms, except the wacky blood work that comes with that. I had migraines, milky breasts though I had stopped nursing, over-exaggerated female features with dark hair on my arms, breasts, and belly, boils on my face, irregular cycles, fatigue, sleeplessness, weight gain, nightmares, irritability, constipation, and sick stomach. And the scariest symptom, I had one pupil larger than the other. I knew that was a symptom of a brain tumor. But my blood work showed no sign of being out of the normal ranges for the hormone Prolactin which is the last sign for a pituitary tumor. This was a relief for me since I didn't want to have a tumor, though usually benign, but I wondered what it could be!

I had two children at home who needed a real mommy and a husband who was really getting tired of footing my doctor bills for tests that came back normal. The endocrinologist sent me to two doctors- a neurologist (just in case) and a gynecologist.

My husband and I were relying more on the Lord for our help. We began really delving into God's Word for an answer. Begging for help. I got book after book about Biblical diets, and tried them all thinking that I had to be doing something wrong.

I tried to do everything just right according to all the preaching I had heard. I never wore pants, I always had personal and family devotions, I was in subjection to my husband, I cleaned house until I dropped. Of course I had to do it fast because if I sat down in the middle I collapsed for two days with a headache and fatigue. I tried to live under the law basically.

What a huge mistake. I didn't allow God to love me, and tried to show him I was worthy of his help because I was being so "good". Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with any of that stuff, but the reasons I had for doing it was wrong. I was trying to do things in the flesh and not in faith. I prayed and begged the Lord to show me why I was having so many problems and to please heal me so we wouldn't have to spend so much money. (My husband only made $6.00 an hour at that time and in W[est] V[irginia], taxes take half of that.)

I finally came to the end of myself and did some major "house cleaning" in my soul. I asked the Lord to forgive me for my pride and confessed every sin I knew to confess and begged mercy and pleaded the Blood on the ones I had forgotten. Though at first I started with the wrong motive, my heart was changed during this time and I really tried to do right just because my love for the Lord had grown. Even though I sometimes felt the Lord chose to do what He was going to do with my body just because he was God and could, I know now that he heard my prayers, and was trying to give me patience. My husband began staying up until the wee hours of the night praying for me and reading and studying his Bible. To put it bluntly, we got right.

We separated ourselves even more totally from the world -- which to most people where we were, we were just being fanatical and weird since we were pretty separate anyway. They looked for him any time to take me to the woods and make me build us a log cabin all by myself while he went hunting and hung our children from cradle boards. They thought I would spend all day grinding nuts and berries in a mortar and pestle and that our children would not know how to communicate with other children because we hovered over them making sure they were not getting any ungodly influences from Disney. They thought I was out of my mind for wearing dresses continually.

All this time now, my headaches had not dissipated, though I had begun to be able to do a little more for the kids. I began teaching my four year old to read.

I went to the neurologist all by myself with a crashing headache. He did not look at my MRI. He did not look at my CT scan. He did not ask me questions. He looked at me and said. " you don't have a brain tumor. You have Addies Syndrome." I was shocked because I didn't know what it was for one thing, but also because he was so sure of himself and cocky to say the least.

I said "What makes you think that seeing you haven't looked at any of my work.?"

He said. "You have one pupil larger than the other and you are an overweight young woman. That is how I know. "

To me that seemed asinine, since I knew many young women far more overweight than I who didn't have one pupil bigger than the other one and I told him so. He began to name my problems while grabbing the MRI to placate me.

He looked and said "Though you look like you have a normal brain, you really have a woman's brain. Those are always abnormal in my opinion. You probably have irregular periods don't you?" I answered yes. "You have migraine headaches because you have too much worry. You need to calm down, have a few drinks and relax." I said I don't drink. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at my MRI again.

There was a spot on the film and I pointed it out-and the statement that said it was abnormal. "Just like a woman to think they know more than a doctor. That is where the MRI cut through a vein during the process. If you had a tumor there you wouldn't be standing here, you would be in diapers." I began to cry, and told him that I really just needed answers. "You cry at the least little thing, eat everything in sight, scream at your kids, and try and please everyone don't you?" He stuck my big toe with a needle about this time and I flinched. He said "If you had a brain tumor you wouldn't do that." I was shocked.

My open mouth was the only spring board he needed to launch into the best Fundamental Baptist preaching message about the ills of society being all the woman's fault that I had ever heard. I left and drove home, but I know God was the one behind the wheel. I couldn't have done it by myself.

I learned a lesson from that though. I went to "man" for help. The Bible says that GOD is my help, and I hadn't totally realized that yet. It's a good thing I have the temperament like he said though, or I would have pressed charges for what I now consider abuse by a medical professional.

My husband was outraged, but I was so sick we didn't pursue it. I think secretly by this time, he actually was thinking the same thing anyhow, but from then on he went to the doctors with me. I went back to my family doctor who said he was sorry for the inconvenience his colleague had shown me and prescribed me an antidepressant called Elevil which worked wonders for most people's migraines.

I got the prescription thinking that this was my last hope. I really fell into a state of deep depression at this time because I had been in so much pain for the last year with the migraines and sickness. I began losing weight although antidepressants usually make you gain weight. I went to bed without a headache one night. I actually got to spend some time with my husband and go to sleep contented.

I dreamed that night that there was a man who had my pastor tied up in the middle of the room and told him that he was going to make him watch while he killed the people from his church, us, who were tied up in a circle all around him. He put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. I felt the pain in my dream, though I knew it was a dream. I woke up with a headache that lasted a week.

Around the end of the year in 1995, my husband asked me a question. He said, "I wonder when you really know God's will for your life?"

I said, "I don't know, I guess that is between you and God, and I will follow you to the ends of the earth if you need me to."

That was all the encouragement he needed. He announced his call to preach on New Year's Watch service night at our home church.

When I had been on the Elevil for almost ten weeks, I noticed a change in my headache pattern and I was actually feeling pretty good. I also noticed a fullness in my breasts and the telltale sign of a blue line down the middle of my belly. I was pregnant for the third time.

I immediately called my gynecologist and he told me to come right in. He said that the drug was a psychiatric drug and a class 3 drug. That meant that the baby would likely be born with spina-bifida, blind, deaf, have cerebral palsy, or even no brain, since I had been on it in the developing stages of the fetus. He advised an abortion. I told him NO WAY. My God had given me another baby and I didn't care what it took to take care of it, it was my baby, not a fetus and I would not have an abortion.

He then told me that it would be rough, but that I needed to get off the Elevil. I weaned myself off the Elevil in less than a week with no side effects. Except I was super scared for my baby.

All the tests came back normal and although the baby was heavy and I carried him low, my baby boy was fine. He weighed 9 pounds and 11 ounces. I didn't even try this time to have the baby without medication, and it was an easy 8 hour labor. God had not only given me another fine healthy baby, he gave us our boy we had wanted for so long.

I had my tubes tied while in the hospital because with all the problems I had had, and our money situation, we thought it was best to stop having children. Some people would judge me for that statement, but they may not be so quick to do so if they were in our shoes.

It was a no-win situation in most cases. Some people would say don't ever do that because God would not approve, but to those same people, welfare is out of the question and that is what we were looking at if I had had more children. We prayed about the decision and got a peace that it was fine to leave off. That is what mattered to us, not what the "BRETHREN" said.

Things seemed to go fine after I had the baby. I no longer had the migraine headaches, the boils on my face cleared up. I wasn't so depressed and I was able to actually be a mom to my kids.

I home schooled my daughter for first grade that year and actually didn't do too bad. My middle daughter was beginning to develop mentally and socially and recover from the sicknesses she had. (She had middle ear infections every month of her life until she was three.) And my baby boy was healthy as could be.

Then I didn't stop bleeding from having the baby. I waited six weeks and went to the doctor. I was still changing about every hour. He said it was normal with such a large baby and to give it time and stay off my feet. I called back after four more weeks. He said that as long as I was slowing down not to worry about it, that it was normal for some women to do that, and since I was nursing, I was just confused a bit.

I finally stopped after twelve weeks. Twice as long as normal. I never had a period before while nursing my daughters, so I thought it strange when I started a month after finally stopping from before. I still thought I may have been pushing myself to be the Mom and wife that I couldn't be before, so I slowed down some. That time I bled for two weeks. I stopped and started again three days or so later and it went on for another week.

I called my doctor back. He advised me to come in, did blood work, said there was nothing wrong, told me to stop nursing, and put me back on birth control pills to regulate my cycle. He said the Stein Leventhal was causing my organs to rebel and that the pills would help. Of course if I began having migraines, I would have to stop the pills.

The pills didn't help. I began to get weak and depressed. I began to feel a pain in my right side that was like I had been bumped or smashed against something. It was like a bruise. I sat for hours at the computer and did some online witnessing in AOL chat rooms while the kids played. Many people made professions of faith and one lady from Texas even came to see me and bought me a brand new computer. God was using me in spite of myself.

I spent mornings trying to manage a six month old and teach a 2nd grader and a 3 1/2 year old . Then I would let them play. I hurt so badly I let the house go much further than I ever would have. I had to push myself to get up and get supper for my husband.

It got really bad by the time the baby was a year old. I bled almost constantly. My husband and I were not having good relations and he thought I must be crazy. The doctors said they couldn't help me. I read in the Bible time and again of the woman with the issue of blood. I pleaded "Lord Jesus please heal me! I am losing my family. I am losing my life." But I could not touch Him.

I was suicidal by this time. Oh I was the perfect little Baptist lady on the outside and my husband and I even taught the Youth group at our church. I struggled but seemed like I failed in every way. My kids were well-behaved, clean, and smart. My husband's shirts and pants always ironed. I tried really hard to clean my house and teach my children. I witnessed for the Lord and tried to win people to Christ. But I was miserable, and I was so tired. I thought "dear God.. what am I doing wrong now?" I even had one lady tell me that I was not being healed because I had sin in my life.

My husband and I talked to a very compassionate friend of ours and he told us that what helped him through a tough time was actually putting on the whole armor of God. Literally as he prayed he "put on" the breastplate, the helmet, the belt, the shoes... I tried it.. [It] did help.

My husband began praying that God would move us out of our community and into a farming community. He prayed that we could have a full time ministry working with teens and children. The youth group we were working with was shutting down.

God was shutting doors for us on a whole different plane than what included my health. He was preparing us for the true work he had in store for us, but I had to get better first. I didn't really understand that at the time but I do now.

We were approached by a local mission to be the farm managers for the boy's home they were planning to open back up after a fifteen year closure. We thought this was it.. the answer to our prayers, but God closed that door as soon as he had let us have a glimpse.

I know that If I had not have gone through what I had, that we would have gotten bitter and rebellious again and God would never have used us, but instead, through experience, I knew it was only a matter of time before he would show us why. If I had never had been sick, I would never know the grace of God, and the peace that passes understanding.

I thought I may have Fibromyalgia, but the more I studied the more it became evident that that was not my problem. In fact the more I studied Fibromyalgia, the more I realized that it is a made up disease to help drug companies sell drugs. I had all the symptoms of that one too, except the excessive bleeding.

My symptoms were so vague, the doctors wanted me to go to a Psychiatrist. We refused. He actually told me that I was "making myself bleed" by thinking about it too much. I told him that if I could make myself bleed, then I could make myself stop... and if I could do that, then I wouldn't be there. He got the picture after a while that I was not going to stop until I found my problem.

I got out my AMA Encyclopedia and my Bible I reread the story of the woman with the issue of blood and I prayed. I was tired of picking up the phone trying to call someone to talk to. I was tired of writing letters to people online for prayer. I was tired of people at church looking at me like I was just lazy. I was tired of not getting an answer from God. So I prayed until I knew I was heard. I begged the Lord to show me why I was having these problems and help me find a solution.

I learned from the woman with the issue of blood that it was all right to go to the doctor. Those who are sick need a physician. I also learned that when the doctors can't help you, Jesus can. I also learned that when the woman had spent all that she had, she was humble, and obedient. It gave her the character and tenacity to press through the crowd and stand up for what she knew was right. It molded and shaped her life to be sick. It gave her the ability to come to the Master, and have faith that he would help her.

I noticed something that I had never noticed before, and some people may say I am nuts here, but the passage right before the account of the woman tells how Jesus was on his way to heal Jarius' daughter. She was twelve years old. The woman was sick for twelve years. Any woman who had a child and didn't leave off bleeding was cast out from the camp as unclean like a leper. This could very possibly have been that little girl's mother. If it was, and I can't prove it, it means that that lady not only got her health back, but she got her family back. I wanted to be healed like that lady. I prayed for wisdom.

I began looking in my AMA encyclopedia and found an entry called Hyperplasia. It says : Enlargement of an organ or tissue due to an increase in the number of its constituent cells. The new cells are normal unlike those of a tumor. Hyperplasia is usually the result of hormonal stimulation. It may be a normal occurrence (such as in the enlargement of breast tissue and uterine muscle that occurs during pregnancy) or it may indicate a disorder (such as in hyperplasia of the thyroid or adrenal glands which may be due to over-secretion of certain pituitary hormones)

This sparked my interest and I went from there. I looked up and studied every entry in the book. I found that my uterus was very probably increasing in thickness and would continue to do so until it burst and I bled to death internally very quickly. I found enough to write a letter to my doctor telling him my whole history and asking him to consider doing a hysterectomy.

My doctor called me and told me that he got my letter and set up an appointment for me to come in. He said that I indeed had all the symptoms of uterine hyperplasia, but that there was no way he could know for sure. He had done exploratory surgery a month before and didn't find anything. He explained that with uterine hyperplasia, it could not be determined for sure unless it was dissected and tested and that the only way to do that was hysterectomy. He didn't want to make such a drastic decision as a hysterectomy on a 26 year old woman who was otherwise healthy ( he said) .

I told him that I was losing my family, that I was suicidal, and that my faith was the only thing that was getting me through the whole ordeal. I told him that only the Lord could have let me find that entry in the encyclopedia and that I felt sure that I needed a hysterectomy. After many more questions and considerations, he finally agreed to do the surgery.

I also got to talk to him about the Lord. I think maybe I had been the only one to ever present the true gospel to him. IF nothing else.. that was worth it, though he didn't get saved. I know God had a purpose and if that was the purpose I was willing to let it be so.

I had a total hysterectomy with appendectomy in October 1998. When I woke up, I knew the Lord healed me. The doctor thought I was nuts and told me to call him in a year if I was all better. I haven't got around to that, just because I have been too busy, but I need to.

One month after my surgery, we were in a meeting at our church where a missionary was presenting a work called Joshua Scott Boarding School for troubled teens. My husband quit his job in January 1999 and we moved out to the middle of nowhere to work with the world's throwaways. We love them so much, and have so much more grace and patience than we ever could have had without all the trials we have gone through.

I never have any problems. I wake up with a smile and spring to my step now. Although I have my bad days, it is better than having a good day every now and then. We have gone through a lot just in the year and a half that we have been here, but I know by the grace of God and the things we've been through already that My Redeemer is Faithful and true and will lead me on. My life's verses now include Matt. 9: 20-22 and Isaiah 58:12 for the work that is happening here at Joshua Scott.

I thank my God that he knows me better than I know myself and that he healed me. I know that if God didn't want me to be healed they could take out every organ they wanted to and I would not be healed. He allowed them to do it for His glory, and His purpose in His time, in His way. He didn't need all the brethren and their wives telling me I was a sinner. I knew that. He didn't need all the brethren and their wives telling me what I needed to do to be right with God. He told me Himself. I wanted so bad to scream at them, "RUN YOUR OWN RACE you HYPOCRITE!"

Who am I that I would find favor in my Lord's eyes? but I did. And I praise Him for it!!

Peggy ___________

Isaiah 58:12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places:
thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called,
The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.

graphics by Mary Stephens
vintage graphic: unknown