Who
Is the Best
Mother in the World?
May 2018
Luke 11:27-28 And it came
to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of the company lifted
up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed
is the womb
that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked. But he said, Yea
rather, blessed are
they that hear the word of God, and keep it.
If we were to discuss who might be the best mother
in the world probably the example of Mary the mother of Jesus would come
up. After all, she was chosen to be the mother of the Messiah, right?
What greater honor could be given to any woman?
According to Jesus Himself, the honor of hearing
and keeping the word of God is a greater blessing than bringing the
Messiah into the world. That is an amazing thought.
In fact, we read in Luke 8:20-21, And it was told him by certain which said, Thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to see thee. And he answered and said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it.
So not only is it more blessed than bearing the
Messiah to hear and keep God’s word, but Jesus calls those who hear and
do God’s word His mother and brethren. In other words, they are His
close family members.
No matter who you are, or whether you have children
or not, you can do this today.
Hebrews 3:15 While it is said, To day if ye will
hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation.
If you are not born again yet, you can obey the
gospel and start enjoying the blessing of hearing and doing the word of
God.
Romans 10:8-11 But what saith it? The
word is nigh thee, even
in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we
preach; That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and
shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead,
thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto
righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For
the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
If you are saved already but not walking in truth,
you can start to hear and obey God’s word today.
James 1:22-25 But be ye doers of the word, and
not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of
the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural
face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and
straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. But whoso looketh into
the perfect law of liberty, and continueth
therein, he
being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be
blessed in his deed.
If you are already striving to walk in this way,
then you are already enjoying the blessedness of which Jesus spoke.
“I Have the Best Mother”
People sometimes will say that they have “the best
mother in the world.” This is somewhat common in social media around
Mother's Day. This is boastful and it also tastes of pride. It is very
unlikely that you have the best mother in the world. Just sayin’…
A friend of mine made the point once that she has
“the best mother in the world for me.” That is a more accurate way to
think and speak. A good mother is something for which one can thank God,
but it is important to remember that the Lord puts us in places in life
where He wants us to learn or grow and that doesn’t always include “the
best mother in the world.” You may be thankful for having a mother that
was good for you, but in the spirit of
giving thanks
for hard things, you should also give thanks for mothers who may not
have been all that great but still taught you something.
I have an acquaintance who had what many would say
was a “bad” mother. Yet, he always extends grace when he speaks of her
and shows compassion and sorrow for her mental illness, which was real.
I also have a friend whose mother, after living as
a Christian, fell into the sinking sand of drugs and alcohol. She wasted
years of her life in that place. Her daughter has tried hard to help her
mother get her feet back on the Rock of Ages now as she is trying to
live in victory again.
Both of these people have gained experience and knowledge that they would not have had if they had grown up with “the world’s best mother.” In the wisdom of God, He allowed them to experience this so that they could use that knowledge and experience to help others. They can bring glory to Him through that if they are.
Does It Belong in the
Church?
Moving into life in the church context, we have to
consider the question of awards to mothers on Mother’s Day. Is it really
biblical to be handing out awards in a church meeting at all, let alone
on Mother’s Day?
Here’s what history.com has to say about the
origins of this holiday:
“Celebrations of mothers and motherhood can be
traced back to the ancient Greeks and Romans, who held festivals in
honor of the mother goddesses Rhea and Cybele, but the clearest modern
precedent for Mother’s Day is the early Christian festival known as
“Mothering Sunday.”
“Once a major tradition in the United Kingdom and
parts of Europe, this celebration fell on the fourth Sunday in Lent and
was originally seen as a time when the faithful would return to their
“mother church”—the main church in the vicinity of their home—for a
special service.
“Over time the Mothering Sunday tradition shifted
into a more secular holiday, and children would present their mothers
with flowers and other tokens of appreciation. This custom eventually
faded in popularity before merging with the American Mother’s Day in the
1930s and 1940s.” [Source]
In the U.S. there were various people and efforts
that influenced the establishment of the holiday in the mid-1800s to the
early 1900s. Some of these efforts were influenced by the Civil War,
poor mothering skills, and perhaps some other things. Anna Jarvis and
the famous department store magnate, John Wannamaker, got the modern
Mother’s Day started in May of 1908. It gained momentum and eventually
was made a national holiday in this country in 1914 by former president
Woodrow Wilson. Not surprisingly, since a department store and florists
were involved from the start, the holiday rapidly became highly
commercialized, to the great dismay of Anna Jarvis. She actually
denounced the holiday before her death and lobbied to have the
government remove it from being a national holiday.
So, we see that this holiday has a rather dubious
history from its beginning.
I know. Various Christians will justify the hoopla
over this holiday in the church house by quoting
Ephesians 6:2-3, Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first
commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou
mayest live long on the earth. This is written to the church, but
that does not mean we should observe Mother’s Day or Father’s Day in the
assembly of the believers. While it may not be necessarily evil to
observe it, these verses are about how we live our lives on a regular
basis. It is about daily living, not once-a-year celebrations. To apply
it to observing Mother’s Day is really taking it out of context,
regardless of how one feels about it.
There are many hurting people in the church. In
fact, because the gospel offers redemption, it is possible that we have
more hurting people in the church on average than there is out of it.
Some of this pain connects directly to the individuals’ parents.
There are women and men whose mothers (and fathers)
abused them.
There are women and men whose mothers knew someone
was molesting them and did nothing to stop it.
There are women and men who were abandoned by their
mothers (and fathers).
There are people whose mothers were/are ornery
cusses that make their life and relationship difficult at best. And,
there are fathers like this as well.
Are these people supposed to come to church on
Mother’s Day and pretend to rejoice over their mothers? It’s awkward to
say the least.
Then too there is that other kind of pain –
-
The women who wanted to be mothers and are not;
-
The mothers whose children are a disappointment to them because of their bad choices and actions.
-
The mothers whose children have died, either before or after birth. This is especially hard if it is recent.
-
The question that keeps coming back to me is this:
Is it honoring to Jesus Christ to cause these people so much pain in
order to exalt others on a holiday that is not commanded to the church?
It doesn’t seem right somehow. Observing it in the privacy of one’s home
and family circle is one thing, but to force it into the life of
the church is a problem that needs some thought.
For one thing, we have the problem of giving
awards.
A rather extreme example is that of Michelle Duggar
accepting the “Mother of the Year Award” from Doug Phillips and Vision
Forum Ministries in 2010. [Link
from another article on this site.] Jesus warned His disciples not
to do their alms nor pray for fame and attention if they wanted a reward
from God,
Matthew 6:1-6. In the spirit
of that warning it seems highly unlikely that God was impressed with her
accepting that award. She wept and expressed feelings of humility, but
the very act of going to the meeting and accepting the award was an act
of pride.
The apostle Paul wrote,
For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will
say the truth: but now
I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me
to be,
or that
he heareth of me. And lest I should be exalted above measure through the
abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the
flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted
above measure. 2 Corinthians 12:6-7 And again,
For we dare not make ourselves of the number,
or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they
measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among
themselves, are not wise.
2 Corinthians 10:12
So, should churches give out awards for mothering
accomplishments?
In some instances the same women get the same
awards every year – biggest family, largest baby, oldest mother, etc.
Some of these ladies get a little embarrassed by this. Some are proud of
themselves and are actually being tempted by the church to indulge this
pride. Some did nothing of themselves to “earn” the recognition given
them. Some of the women don’t even show up to church meetings all that
often, but they are always present on Mother’s Day to receive their
“award.”
Now I respect women who have had a large baby. It
is no laughing matter. But, what if the mother had gestational diabetes
which is one cause of large babies and wasn’t able to get the medical
help she needed? What if she knew she had this problem and didn’t follow
the diet and other things she was supposed to do to control it? This is
dangerous for both the mother and the baby, not something to be exalted
in church.
In some circles (Quiverfull, etc.), it is almost a
competition to have as many babies as possible. It is certainly a
boasting point. But, there are also some women in those groups who wept
before the Lord and entreated Him to stop giving them babies. How do you
suppose it makes them feel to have these “honors” heaped upon their
weary and unwilling heads?
What if the “youngest mother” present is a teen age girl who conceived her child in fornication? What if the “newest mother” was raped and that’s how she had her baby? Shall we memorialize sin – whether the mother’s or a criminal’s – in order to exalt motherhood? What if the mother doesn't appreciate that honor? Also, what if that mother with a huge family is grieving because most of them are living for the world, the flesh, and the devil?
These are not idle and speculative questions. My sister-in-law was in a Mother’s Day meeting once where the “youngest mother” had had her child out of marriage. I also knew of a young woman who had a baby after she was raped and decided to keep it. She could have been in the position of the "newest mother" on Mother's Day. And, there have been plenty of large families where most of the children have walked away from the truth or never knew it.
The church needs to seriously rethink these things.
Some churches don’t do any of the special awards
but, instead, give some gift or flowers to every female present. This is
better. It has more compassion about it.
If there isn’t some mushy sermon in exaltation of motherhood as
“the greatest work on earth,” many of us who find this day painful could
deal with that. We might actually attend the services.
Yes, some of us do not go to church meeting on
Mother’s Day because it is too painful. I realize that there are people
who will judge me for this, but I also know that there are plenty of
others like me.
Dear sister in Christ, if you don’t go to church
services on Mother’s day, please know that there are others out here
like you. You are not alone. There are also some who understand and have
compassion, even if you may not have met anybody like this. Don’t feel
ashamed. If you cannot endure it, it may well be that you should not try
to, and may God grant you peace and hope according to your need.
Conclusion
1 Corinthians 3:11-15 For other foundation can no
man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build
upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;
Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it,
because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's
work of what sort it is. If any man's work abide which he hath built
thereupon, he shall receive a reward. If any man's work shall be burned,
he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.
Biblically speaking, we should leave God to hand
out the rewards and awards. He knows who is worthy and His rewards are
worth more than any human recognition can ever be. And, ultimately, the
Lord is the One who is worthy to receive our rewards and awards anyway.
Revelation 4:10-11 The four and twenty elders
fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth
for ever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying, Thou
art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast
created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.
Honoring our parents is something we should be
doing every day, not just one day out of the year. Honoring those who
walk in the truth is also something that should not be limited to one
day a year. We honor those whom we are commanded to honor by doing so
all the time, not just on special days.
1
Thessalonians 5:12-13 And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; And to
esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake.
And be at
peace among yourselves.
The best mother in the world isn’t going to be
recognized. She is quietly and humbly going about her Father’s business
(Luke 2:49). Only God knows who she is.
She may not even have children of her own. Her godly mothering will be
extended on her own children, or on the children of others, or on the
children of God. But above all, she will hear and obey the words of
Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 15:16 Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts.
Graphics and some photography by Mary Stephens.
Vintage graphic and painting unknown source.
CA